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It’s teatime on a wet Wednesday in April when the Algeciras-to-Ronda train makes an unscheduled stop at San Pablo to collect two dozen passengers from the rain-soaked…

Ralph Fiennes detests Facebook and Twitter, Anthony Hopkins deplores self-righteous freeloaders and Brigitte Bardot doesn’t ever recall being happy. But they have one thing in common; they’ve all been ‘Proust Questionnaired’ by Vanity Fair magazine.